Tips That Will Keep You Alive

These are just a few of my heretofore unwritten rules. Please add to them:

1. Never stick your hands anywhere you can’t see them.
2. Close the door behind you.
3. Make sure the shoes you’re wearing are ones you can run in.
4. Always carry a weapon, even if it is a pencil.
5. Vehicles are always at least half tank full.
6. Run and lift weights.
7. Read often.
8. When on a plane, or in theater, count the number of rows from your seat to the exit.
9. Practice holding your breath.
10. Get punched in the face.
11. Hydrate often. Your pee should be clear, not yellow.
12. Only have alcohol when your site is secured, and the fire watch is set.
13. Always have a round chambered.